Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen, Anna Quindlen

{a revision of some thoughts originally published on my Blogger page Feb. 2011}:


Once, for Valentine's Day,  my guy left candies and messages all over the house on and I pointed out to him that he's always saying he's not romantic. His reply was "Maybe I say that because I don't know what "being romantic" really means". It made me think how many other guys might feel that way. It's pretty common knowledge by now that men and women think differently, so maybe when women say that their man "doesn't have a romantic bone in their body", maybe its because they (the men) really don't know what we expect. Think about it, they don't practice romance on their friends, and women usually expect men to "just know" what to do, we think it's more special if they think of it themselves, but what can we expect if men have nothing to go by or learn from?


There were quite a few instances of that in Pride and Prejudice actually, where Darcy thought he was behaving in a romantic or proper way, but Elizabeth would take it as Darcy having a stick up his ass or being cold or distant toward her, and of course Darcy, much like the common man would be left standing there thinking "What am I suppose to do here??" Likewise, as time progresses between them, and Elizabeth gets frustrated with Darcy, she suddenly has a realization that the problem could actually partly be her doing! (gasp!) She realizes perhaps her behavior or conversations with him might have appeared to him to have been vague or even harsh at times.




  1. So this is something new I've taken from P&P :
  2. 1) Ladies, don't be afraid to spit it out - what you actually want from your man. If he's a real man, he can handle it. He may not give you the response you want (that's the hard part for us to accept!), but he can in fact give you a mature, sensible response (if he is a real man, that is lol). And if he doesn't give you the answer you want, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or doesn't care about or understand you - he just sees things differently. And that's okay. But that's when you have a discussion and find the common ground between "youz guys".
  3. 2)Try not to bombard a man with your feelings... keep it to the sparks notes version to start and if he can handle more, and wants to understand better, he will say "Can you explain that more?"
  4. 3) Just because it's not "diamonds and two tickets to that thing you love" doesn't mean it's not a romantic or loving act. The most romantic moments I've had in my life are the least flashy, the moments that have nothing to do with a price tag, where the only reward he seeks is to see your face light up with a smile or a laugh of surprise.
  5. Again, take Darcy - when Lizzie's little 15 yr old sister ran of with the much older, unsavory character Mr. Wickham and brought so much potential shame to the family, Darcy went in search of Wickham without telling Lizzie, and took care of the situation, giving the family the chance to save face (I don't want to give it away for anyone who hasn't read the book yet). When Lizzie finds out what Darcy has done, the money he throws down to help her family without telling any of them or asking for thanks, she starts thanking him profusely, to which his reply is basically "I am glad if your family has found peace again, but I did it for you" ( One moment... swooning here... ) Okay... :P




For anyone wondering why all my images here are from the BBC version, yes - I have seen the more recent remake with Kiera Knightly, but IMO, the BBC did more justice to the novel (as most of the dialogue came almost word for word from the actual book) and I cannot imagine anyone doing a better Darcy than Colin Firth - PERFECT combination of romance and stoicism! 


Oh! Some interesting "behind-the-scenes" info I learned about Miss Austen and this novel : Jane started the novel in October of 1796 and finished it August 1797 at the age of 21 (yet another author making me feel like a slacker! LOL). She originally called the book First Impressions but that original manuscript has never been found. What we know as Pride and Prejudice today was actually the work of Jane going back to First Impressions in 1811 (14 years after first writing it! Talk about being determined to be published!). She edited, revised, expanded some characters, cut down others and the finished product was P & P as it is read today.  Her father had tried to get it published back in 1797, but could not find an interested publisher. As Fate would have it, as Austen was doing revisions to P & P, her novel Sense and Sensibility was published, quickly garnering much acclaim. With the success of Sense and Sensibility, publishers suddenly felt they had a market for P & P and finally, in January of 1813, Pride and Prejudice was published! So all you struggling writers out there - it's never too late to become one of the most widely read authors in English literature! ;) I also found it interesting to learn that Austen's name was never actually put on any of her novels during her lifetime! They merely read "By The Author of Sense and Sensibility". Wonder what they put on Sense and Sensibility back then - "anonymous"?