Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story - Adam Rex

Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it's just not the same.

Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated—it's not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings. . . .





I was excited to get into this one because I LOVE parody and satire novels and this is exactly the kind of thing I love to read this time of year. I also liked the concept of a fat kid vampire, since the undead are often so sexed up these days :-P


This started off well for me, gave me a few laughs, but after awhile my laughs were more and more becoming cringes and groans. I understand Doug is a teenage boy but gaawwd he became obnoxiously so! The jokes started sounding pretty forced and lame and when he wasn't going for the easy laugh he was whining about his predicament. Then the story started getting more and more ridiculous to the point where by tale's end, I just didn't care anymore (but often I finish shorter books anyway, simply because I've already invested that much time in it, I might as well finish).


Something about the way Sejal was treated in this story also bugged me. Couldn't entirely put my finger on it, but particularly with her exchange student host family, it kinda felt like she was treated like an shiny, glittery novelty more than anything. Like a pretty new fish Dad just brought home or something. 


I'm especially bummed to be so bored by this since it takes place in my hometown of San Diego! :-(